three steps forward, two steps back, three more steps forward

starting 2:35 p.m.

we make progress. we take steps. we feel good.
along comes a stressor*. we step back into a place of comfort until we adjust to the stressor. we step forward again.

i had a lot to say this morning, but at this point i'd like to talk about the pendulum swing of personal progress. because we can only keep so many balls in the air, each of us pulse like the waves toward where we would like to be. i'll give a couple examples.

number one: my son lives with my girlfriend and i during his summer break from school. he arrived mid-june this year, and having him in the house completely shifts the way we operate. i don't mean this in a bad way, either, it's just different to live with such a dependent being in our care than to live with three independent adults in the house. it puts stress on our "normal" routines. for instance, going to bed takes roughly an hour now when before it was a fifteen minute routine, if that. all this to say, we had taken steps and put routines into place toward our goal of reducing our impact, and then along comes a stressor. we backed into a comfort zone a little bit. we ate out several times last week. we bought milk at the grocery store. we drove on a couple outings (at least one of which would have been easily done by mass transit when it was the two of us adults). and now i can see us gradually starting to step forward again after a short period of adjustment. i made us dinner last night after thinking there was nothing to eat (salad + strawberries w/milk + local popcorn = dinner!). i'm sure there are other things that show we're adjusting, too, but i can't think of them off the top of my head.

number two: i've begun biking the 1.4 miles to the train station and home again on work days, and i've shifted my work day a half hour earlier in order to get home "on time" to relieve the babysitter. before starting these things, i had been getting off the train two stops earlier than i needed to do and walking the rest of the way. the first day i biked, i stepped back into the comfort zone of riding the train all the way to my destination. the next day, i rode the train to the stop one stop away from my destination. this morning (the third day i've biked), i am back to being early enough to walk from two stops back and still have time to stop and change into my work shirt/blouse thingy at starbucks (although i felt guilty for using their bathroom and ended up with a double tall latte in a paper cup, argh!)

three steps forward, two steps back, three more steps forward.
sixteen minutes!